from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
