You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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