we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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