I smell stomach acid.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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