Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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