Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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