Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
