There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize