Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have aggressive nipples.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
