you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
