check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
