I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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