what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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