direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you win again, gameday.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you had me at cake vodka
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
