Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
