like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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