i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize