I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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