Dual....:-)
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
