she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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