THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
