Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
