Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
vagina is talking i cant
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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