had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
