sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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