So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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