we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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