How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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