He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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