Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize