PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
