pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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