Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
