So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
