That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
