I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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