i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize