is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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