I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
