Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize