Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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