I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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