After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
