I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
