So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
