I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
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Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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