dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
love makes seman taste better
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
