either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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