haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
