I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
