Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
