Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
