can u get pink eye on your cock?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
