apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?