Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex