Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over