She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...