How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
