can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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