but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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