i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
