Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
