your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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