We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
