i just wanna soil my oats bro
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
