made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
