is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
