That's intense
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
