This dress was meant to end up on your floor
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
